It’s been a very long time since I’ve written anything and that mainly has to do with the fact that I was pregnant, sick and pregnant, gave birth, had a newborn and now I’m back at work with a four month old.
People said it would be hard having a child, but they didn’t say why. Yes, there are sleepless nights and she cries but the true difficulty is that everything changes. You have another person in the mix who dictates your entire life. Just in the first month we found out she had an allergy to milk (never knew babies could be allergic to milk) and had to switch to the most expensive formula known to man (drama queen, I know). We thought that was a big deal but not for long.
I stayed home with her the first several months and it was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Caring for someone 24/7 while feeling like you aren’t “contributing” is devastating. Now that I’m back at work we have to rely on other people, which is something I’ve never been comfortable with doing.
Our time as a couple has been cut down to almost nothing because we are always with someone else. She is the light that shines on me every day and her smile truly fills me with love and joy but at the same time I savor the moments when she is sleeping because it’s time to myself or with my husband.
I listen to several podcasts and in one of them; someone mentioned that they are trying to give themselves grace this year. They are trying to get over being a perfectionist and enjoy life. I really liked that sentiment and have decided that I’m going to try to do the same. Something that really “fills my bucket” is to write and share experiences. Which means I’ll be posting here hopefully weekly. I guess it depends on what my new favorite person decides.