It’s 4:30 in the afternoon and I’ve already changed my shirt four times. It’s such a normal feeling to walk into my closet and grab a different t-shirt that it doesn’t even surprise me anymore. That doesn’t mean that spit-up covering my shoulder doesn’t take me off guard though. There is so much that has changed these past four months and so many things that are my new normal. You have to adjust to the feeling that you aren’t the most important thing in your life anymore. There is a fine balance that I’m still trying to find between being there 100% for my little one and taking care of myself, the house, my husband, friends, family and career. In the movies and on television they make it seem like you wake up one day and boom you have everything together… yeah, no.
I drank a venti frappuccino yesterday at like 8pm and was still ready for bed at the normal time. It really is like you are permanently tired. Someone said you will finally not be tired when your kids move out. Well, she’s four months so I’m expecting to be tired for a long time. Other people have told me that I need to drink a ton of water and that it will help give me energy. If I didn’t have caffeine I think I would be in a permanent state of pissy pants.
I have been trying to get into a routine but it relies so heavily on your partner. If you are up and get the baby ready but they don’t wake up you are stuck putting the baby back down or trying to wake them up. If you wake up later and they wake up with you then they want your help with the baby. It all depends on the day and how much sleep you got the night before. My original schedule was:
5:30 – Get up and get bottle made
5:45 – Wake baby and husband up
6:00 – Baby is changed and husband is in shower
6:10 – Feed baby
6:30 – Husband getting dressed, baby playing watching cartoons, me getting all of her things together
6:50 – Husband has baby in car seat and is heading out the door
7:00 – I get ready
8:00 – I head out the door
9:00 – Arrive at work
This has happened a couple of times but most of the time it is all jumbled and starts way later, I throw my make-up on and the baby’s stuff is gathered the night before. Like I said, it really depends on the day. Oh and if the baby was up during the middle of the night it is an entirely different ballgame. Thankfully she is pretty good at sleeping for most of the night. Recently though she has been up at 1 and 3-4.
Normal is overrated anyway.